Would You Like A Little Sass With That Coffee Pot?

I am just taking a moment here to vent about the double negative customer service experience I recently received at my local Bed Bath and Beyond.  It's obvious that you can either get a deal or you can get service...but you can't have both.

Bed Bath and Beyond is the place you go for a lot of your kitchen, bath and infomercial gadgets.  Cheap and plentiful, you can usually find what you need when you go there.  If you are like me, however, you never remember to bring one of the many 20% off coupon's that clog up your mailbox.  As you approach the checkout line you just know they aren't going to replace that coupon and you are kicking yourself that you forgot yours.  This is the time you are buying a $50 item and the thought of losing $10 is annoying.  All that being said, if this store was really "customer centric" (the latest buzz word regarding how we treat the client) they would tape that freaking coupon to the register like every other store does and beep away at checkout time.  But no, they will not budge when it comes to accommodating you.  They will, however, tell you to drive home, find the coupon, and drive back for an adjustment...like you have the time for this.  I asked again just to be sure while checking out during my pre-Thanksgiving shopping extravaganza but, of course, they said no.  I just snorted and grabbed my salad spinner and left in a pissed off mood.

Take these from the mailbox and place directly into your handbag.

As I leave I'm telling myself I'm never coming back to this store.  But when I get home, guess what's in my mailbox?  A 20% OFF THE ENTIRE PURCHASE COUPON!...  good on Black Friday.  I read it carefully...it doesn't say "not valid on prior purchases", so what do I do?   I plan to head back on Black Friday to get an adjustment on my day before Thanksgiving purchase.  This time I am ready - the coupon is easy to find because it's big and colorful.  It's taking up my entire handbag.

I am greeted at the door by a happy and cheerful 20 year old "Customer Service" associate.  I ask politely about the adjustment and she speaks to me in a patronizing tone and says "I apologize, but we absolutely could not give you an adjustment because this is just for Black Friday purchases."  I tell her it's not stated on the coupon that it's not valid for prior purchases.  She tells me I should just assume the fact that it's just for Black Friday purchases.  I ask to speak with the manager (who never shows up).  I tell her I will just return everything and re-purchase it.  She tells me I cannot do this - it would be committing coupon fraud.   What?  Does this even exist? (as someone who interprets coupons for a living I can safely tell you, no).  I wonder, will they take me to jail where my sentence is being forced to watch "Extreme Couponing" 24/7?  No, I'd rather die.  This snit is taking her job way too seriously and I am getting nowhere so I leave once more...in a pissed off mood...which apparently I do a lot when I leave this store.

When I get home I go on the Bed Bath and Beyond website and write a scathing letter to the customer service hotline.  I am surprised when I get a quick response.  I catch up with their regional director the following day who takes my complaint pretty seriously.  I am pleased when she satisfies me with the adjustment and we have a nice conversation.  I tell her I'm not a complainer - working in retail myself I don't like it when people are in my face.  However I did suggest they put a muzzle on the little 20 year old "Customer Service" associate who's planning on being her CEO someday.

Diamonds Now Come From The Sun - The 110 Carat Sun Drop

Here we go again.  Can you believe another gargantuan yellow diamond is on the auction block?  This time it's the largest known diamond of it's kind.  On November 15th, Sotheby's will auction the 110.3 carat pear shaped, fancy vivid yellow "Sun Drop" diamond, discovered in South Africa just last year.  The interesting thing about this stone is that it has no history.  It has never been owed privately, and buyers seem to like this as they want to mark it with their own scent.  In this case, they even get to name it.

The scarcity of yellow diamonds, along with the highest color rating bestowed by GIA of "fancy-vivid-yellow", supports auction estimates of $11-$15 million dollars. 

Jerry Hall wishing she was still married to Mick Jagger so he could buy her this diamond.

Jerry...even this diamond doesn't cover the fact that women over 50 should wear bangs.

Kim Kardashian-What Happens To The Ring?

David Gilmore's spot on rendition of Kim's ass.

The divorce of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries was announced yesterday. Are we surprised? A resounding no.

When will we, the slobbering public, who soak up celebrity stories like Sponge Bob, have enough of feeling stupid by living precariously through the smoky eye-shadowed and over blushed glittered lives of the Kardashians...with their small, rodent type voices squeaking out nano-sized syllables of empty headedness.  I am uber weary of seeing these three women with their oversized lips glossed to a spitty shine, heaving breasts with lives of their own, and painted hooves crammed into orthopedic-looking blocks of wood shoes. And you thought those Birkens were a fashion statement?  They really help to keep the girls upright and walking straight....sort of like steering sticks.  But now, saddest of all, there are beautiful diamonds looking for a good home. People should be really sure they want to have diamonds before they get married.

And was the Lorraine Schwartz 20 carat diamond a loaner from the very start...just to be returned, as planned, when this charade marriage went bust?  I'd hate to think she was in on it.

Ring Around The Choker Collar

Lanvin choker in silver brushed metal, $1,335 at net-a-porter.com.

The "Style" section of this weekend's New York Times features a new necklace trend for the spring 2012 season: the choker collar. Featuring a selection of expensive looks in materials ranging from brass to gunmetal to druse (a calcium crystal...I had to look it up too), they look nice when you're feeling a little Kunta Kinte.

Silver neck cuff in white brass, $1,500 at Michael Kors.

But one must be careful...this look is not for everyone.  A girl must be tall and slender with an Olive Oyl neck in order to wear them, or you can wind up channeling the Ben-Hur rowing team.

Eddie Borgo silver-plated spider choker with a hand-dyed feather, $815 at Bergdorf Goodman.

Harry Winston, China and Diamonds...Discuss

1960 photo of Harry and his jewelry box.

Harry Winston, the venerable jewelry house to celebrities and the wealthy, sees solid opportunities in China. Realizing that's where new and young (emphasis on young...they will be around longer to buy) wealth is located, Winston has concentrated its efforts and plans to open at least 10 new stores in the next 5 years. The firm is looking at Russia and Dubai as well, but China is really its target market.

Chief Executive, Frederic de Narp said, "nothing is too big, nothing is too beautiful, and nothing is too expensive for the Chinese today. They are on a quest for true luxury." Meanwhile, according to de Narp, luxury is "rebounding sharply" in the lowly United States.

Harry Winston, Inc. expects sales growth of 15% in new markets in the next five years.

  

In 1958 Winston donated the Hope Diamond to the Smithsonian as a "gift to the American people." The famous blue diamond was set by Cartier in 1910.  In November of 2010, the Hope Diamond was temporarily remounted in a somewhat contemporary setting (see below) meant to commemorate 50 years on display at the Natural History Museum.  The new setting is called "Embracing Hope" and was chosen from three potential designs. Shortly, the Hope Diamond will return to its original Cartier setting (see above), a circle of 16 white diamonds attached to a diamond necklace.

This new setting for the Hope Diamond, called "Embracing Hope," was chosen from three potential designs and is on display for a little while longer at the Smithsonian Institution. Harry Winston, Inc. will then send it on a world tour, replacing the Hope with another blue stone at its center.  The plan is to then offer it for sale and donate the proceeds back to the Smithsonian.  

Founded in 1932, Harry Winston became immortalized in 1953 when Marilyn Monroe called out his  name in the "Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend" song she sang in the movie, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. Winston's legacy was further celebrated in 1958 when he donated the Hope Diamond to the Smithsonian Institution. Actually, at the time, Winston had no prospective buyers for the ill-fated stone, believed to put some serious maloik on the owner.

In this photo, Harry Winston holds some of his famous gems in the palm of his hand. The 125.35 carat emerald cut "Jonker" diamond is center. Just under the Jonker is the 94.80 carat pear shaped Star of the East diamond. The 45.52 carat blue Hope diamond rests between his index and middle finger. The 337.10 carat Sapphire of Catherine the Great is next to his thumb, and the 70.21 carat Idol's Eye diamond is just above the Jonker. A matched pair of pear shaped diamonds and a larger ruby are also shown.

  

"The Lesotho" – The original rough diamond – over 601-carats uncut – was unearthed in 1967 by a woman in the South African kingdom of Lesotho. Fearing for her life, the woman fled on foot for four days and nights to sell the incredible stone under government protection. Purchased by Harry Winston, the cleaving of the Lesotho was broadcast live on television in 1968, resulting in 18 separate gems. The largest, "Lesotho One," is an exquisite 71.73-carat flawless emerald cut diamond. Aristotle Onassis purchased the 40.42-carat "Lesotho Three" for Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis’ engagement ring.

Will You Still Love Me, When I'm.........Married AGAIN???

Paul Mc Cartney married trucking heiress, Nancy Shevell today in London.  What would possess him to do that?  Didn't he learn the last time?  The notoriously cheap Beatle, who divorced the nasty Heather Mills in 2008 for $50 million, has been called "stingy" even by his own daughter, famed clothing designer, Stella Mc Cartney.  With a one page pre-nup that basically says she can't have any of the money promised to Beatrice, his daughter with Mills, he's banking on that fact that Shevell won't want any of his money because she has plenty of her own.  

Looking exactly like the aged version my 1964 issue of "Mad Magazine" promised he would on the back page tri-fold puzzle, he married Shevell in the same place where thousands of fans thronged and mourned his marriage to Linda Eastman in March 1969.  A very small ceremony which included Ringo Starr and Shevell's second cousin, Barbara Walters, was held on what should have been John Lennon's 71st birthday (for the love of God has it been that long?).  Wealthy in her own right, Shevell actually told Mc Cartney she had her own diamonds and didn't need any from him.
 

Nonetheless, Mc Cartney fested Shevell with a $650,000 vintage Cartier diamond, purchased from jeweler Neil Lane.  It is a flawless, round, five carat plus stone from the art deco period.  The side shank of the ring accented with black onyx.

Rolex Signs Tiger Woods-A Partnership For A New Challenge

I'm Baaaack............sort of.

In a move that indicates Tiger Woods might not have to live in the basement much longer, luxury watchmaker, Rolex, has just signed him to a "long standing" (some say five years) endorsement deal. In a statement on their website, Rolex states they are "paying tribute to the exceptional stature of Tiger Woods and the leading role he plays in forging the sport's global appeal. It also constitutes a joint commitment to the future." Welcome to the Rolex Rehab Center.

Rolex is convinced Tiger has many years ahead of him to scratch and climb back to number one (he's currently 51st in World Golf Rankings), and "the brand is committed to accompanying him in his new challenges," which means they will be hanging on him like a fly on poop to make sure he keeps his pants on. I'm not sure if this move makes Tiger look better, or makes Rolex look worse?