Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Have You Been Vajeweled?

A vajewelectomy in progress.
If you watch the Real Housewives of New York City, you’ve already met the newest addition to this season: Cindy Barshop (one and done - I understand she may not be returning next year).  Cindy’s claim to fame is she owns and operates multiple locations of the “Completely Bare Spa."  One of the services they offer is Vajeweled – or, jewelry for your hoo-hah.  After you get a complete waxing of your girly parts, for a nominal fee you can add Swarovski "elements" (more like shards) down there in various shapes and designs.  Ms. Barshop prides herself on the ultimate waxing experience, including a service for inner AND OUTER buttocks.  Thank God girls born with permanent mink thongs have someone to turn to.

Now I'm all for jewelry but I didn't realize I needed to adorn my girlgyna on top of all the landscaping I already do.  It 's an established destination point in my house and is highly sought after - so do I need to decorate it as well?  And what happens when the hair starts to grow back and some of the sparkles have fallen off...do we maintain the vaginal rejuvenation experience or do we let it turn into one of those skankaroll Halloween decorations that are still  hanging around at Thanksgiving...just sayin.

Here are some options:

Do I have to spell it out for you?

I think you know what to do.

Piece.

This one's for the guys.

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